Getting clear about your core values can and will change your life. When you are tuned into what matters, you will make clearer decisions, reduce ambiguity, and focus your attention on taking deliberate, meaningful action. You will also be able to view challenges and opportunities through the lens of your core values, enabling psychological flexibility.
Research shows that people who affirm their values have significantly lower cortisol responses to stress. This is because they are confident in their ability to respond to challenges in an aligned, authentic way.
The Start With Values movement is relentlessly committed to helping people discover and align their behaviors with their core values. This article will help you discover your values using a range of tools and techniques. It will then help you identify your top 5 values.
For visual learners, we have a video for you. Otherwise, continue exploring this comprehensive guide.
If you would prefer a guided learning experience, take the comprehensive Values Course.
It turns out that writing about your values is one of the most effective psychological interventions ever studied. In the short term, writing about personal values makes people feel more powerful, in control, proud, and strong. It also makes them feel more loving, connected, and empathetic toward others. It increases pain tolerance, enhances self-control, and reduces unhelpful rumination after a stressful experience.
PROFESSOR KELLY MCGONIGAL, STANFORD UNIVERSITY
To make the most of this process, you’ll need a piece of paper and a pen or your favorite note-taking app. Let’s dive in!
Use Fulfillment as Your Guide
Fulfillment is derived from meaningful action, which, in turn, is directed by values-based decision-making. So, let’s start at the top of the Values Pyramid and reflect on what has brought you the most fulfillment on your journey so far. Can you spend 10 minutes writing down the events, achievements, or behaviors you are most proud of or grateful for?
I’ll share mine as an example. My fulfillment has come from:
- Adventure: times when I set off into the unknown with no map or plan.
- Creativity: giving a creative gift to the world, be it a book, blog post, movie, or photograph.
- Fitness: feeling physically strong, flexible, and ready to push my limits. The high from intense exertion.
- Love: experiencing love for family, friends, colleagues, and, sometimes, all living beings and the world.
- Peace: achieving moments of deep rest without guilt. Allocating time and space for introspection and reflection.
What has brought you fulfillment in life? If you wrote down, for example, “seeing my child grow up,” that reflects the values of family and care. Connect what fulfills you with the values featured in the Values List below.
Remember that you can discover your values through meaningful activities, like socializing (friendship), mastering a new skill (learning), or doing something grand like volunteering at an orphanage (altruism).
Here are some examples:
- Successfully completing a major project at work—Core value: Achievement
- The successful completion of a significant work project fulfills the core value of achievement, reflecting a dedication to goals and the satisfaction derived from overcoming challenges and contributing value to one’s organization.
- Conquering fear of flying—Core value: Courage
- Overcoming the fear of flying epitomizes the core value of courage, providing fulfillment through personal growth, the overcoming of limitations, and the expansion of one’s comfort zone, enabling new experiences and opportunities.
- Learning computer programming—Core value: Learning
- The process of learning computer programming singifies a commitment to self-improvement, mastery, and the ongoing pursuit of skill development in an ever-evolving field.
- Starting my side hustle—Core value: Autonomy
- Launching a side hustle (startup) can represent the core value of autonomy, offering fulfillment through the pursuit of personal passions, the creation of value, and the empowerment that comes from building something of one’s own.
- Saving up a deposit for my first home—Core value: Responsibility
- Saving for a deposit on a first home embodies the core value of responsibility, demonstrating a commitment to financial planning, foresight, and the fulfillment derived from achieving a major life milestone through discipline and perseverance.
Action: Write down 5 activities or events that have brought you fulfillment. Can you identify the values underpinning each activity? Write them down.
Values of People You Admire
Take a moment to consider the heroes, mentors, and inspirational figures who have shaped your worldview. What are the qualities in them that you respect and admire? More often than not, the values of those we look up to are a mirror reflecting our own values.
Here’s an exercise to guide you:
- Reflect on the people you admire.
- Identify the qualities that draw you to them.
- List down the specific values they embody that resonate with you.
To spark your reflection, here’s a list of ten notable people from diverse backgrounds, along with three values they are widely recognized for:
- Nelson Mandela – Resilience, Leadership, Equality
- Malala Yousafzai – Courage, Education, Women’s Rights
- Mahatma Gandhi – Non-violence, Truth, Self-discipline
- Marie Curie – Perseverance, Intellectual Curiosity, Scientific Integrity
- Martin Luther King Jr. – Justice, Compassion, Community
- Simone Biles – Determination, Excellence, Mental Health Advocacy
- Elon Musk – Innovation, Ambition, Sustainability
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg – Justice, Equality, Legal Acumen
- Dalai Lama – Compassion, Spirituality, Peace
- Serena Williams – Competitiveness, Resilience, Excellence
The values you admire in others are often a compass pointing you toward your own North Star.
Action: Jot down the names of three people you admire and the values you think they embody. If any of the values resonate strongly with you, write them on your list.
Use the Values App
We have created an app designed to help you discover your core values. It’s simple and easy — discover the Values App.
If you’re a company looking to discover the real values within your team, you can find out more on our workplace page.
The Values List
While you may have already discovered some core values by considering what has brought you fulfillment or via the people you admire, it’s time to dive deeper.
Please review the following categories and select the values that resonate. We also offer a more comprehensive deep-dive list of values, including a downloadable PDF worksheet and video guide.
Now, think about how you are rather than how you would like to be. We’re selecting core values — not your ideals! Note that I don’t include survival values in this discovery process as I want you to focus on values that will help you feel truly alive, and to thrive.
Please select a maximum of three values from each category. Remember, the point is to uncover the essence of what matters most to you rather than selecting everything you desire.
| Belonging Love Friendship Respect Fairness Community Empathy Kindness Intimacy Family Teamwork Collaboration Inclusion | Growth Learning Achievement Curiosity Balance Physical Fitness Mental Fitness Skill Mastery Resilience Adaptability Creativity Courage Honesty |
| Impact Influence Status Wealth Credibility Risk-Taking Autonomy Leadership Advocacy Visibility Authority Accomplishment Reputation | Fulfillment Peace Gratitude Wisdom Spirituality Social Contribution Nature Stewardship Vocation Philanthropy Transcendence Legacy Altruism Awe |
Transfer the selected values, along with any others you identified earlier, onto a fresh list.
Identify Your Top 5 Values
Now that you’ve compiled a list of values, let’s prune them down to your top five. You must be willing to valiantly defend each value and allow it to serve as a guiding light in decision-making.
Refine your list by subjecting each value to the following tests:
- Essential to Your Identity: These are values that, if removed from your life, would change the essence of who you are. They’re non-negotiable and deeply intertwined with your sense of self. Test each of the values by asking, “Could I live without {value} in my life?” If the answer is yes, then cross it off the list.
- Gut Check: Intuition or gut feeling is a powerful indicator. As you review your selected values, which ones evoke a strong emotional response? Which ones feel like they ‘fit’? Trust your instincts.
- Day-to-Day Alignment: Reflect on your daily actions and decisions. Which values are consistently present? Sometimes, the values we live by daily are so ingrained that we overlook them. But their consistency is a testament to their importance in our lives. Ask yourself, “Do I practice {value} every day?”
- Future Projection: Consider your goals, aspirations, and the life you want to lead. Which values align with that vision? Ask yourself, “Does the future version of me prioritize {value}?”
- The Elimination Test: If you struggle to decide between a few values, consider doing an elimination test. Imagine having to give up one value at a time. Which one would you be more willing to part with, even if just slightly? This process can help you discern the relative importance of each value.
- Seek External Insight: Sometimes, discussing your values with a trusted friend or mentor can provide clarity. They might offer insights into how they perceive your values or ask probing questions that help you reflect deeper.
Remember, identifying core values isn’t about choosing what’s most aspirational but about recognizing what’s authentically you.
It’s a mix of introspection, reflection, and soul-searching. As you evolve, it’s entirely natural for your values to shift or change. Keep working on your list until only 5 values are remaining. Then, ask a friend or family member to check whether these accurately reflect who you are. Dedicate some time to the process.
I hope this article helped you gain clarity regarding your top 5 core values. In the next article, we’ll discuss why you should reduce your list down to 3 core values. If you’d like to be guided through the process of discovering your core values, you’ll love our values course.
Wishing you all the best on your values discovery journey!
